Archive for September, 2012

Our Miracle Baby!

It is with complete amazement that I stare at my peacefully sleeping baby.  This time last year, I was davening to Hashem that the one last frozen embryo would successfully implant.  And now I have a 7 week old baby!  She is mine.  I do not have to return her to her rightful owner.   I am that rightful owner.  When she hears her mother’s voice among other women, she inclines her head toward me and not someone else.   No longer am I the sole observer of somebody else’s dream come true. Hashem had compassion and bestowed upon my husband and I the gift of parenthood.

Our baby Bracha Menucha was born on July 19th after 12 hours of being in labor that ended in my getting a c-section.   I had to be induced because my baby got too comfortable in her uterine home even though it was crammed quarters.  Unfortunately she did not like the pitocin which made her heart rate go down.  I had a spiritual labor.   Even though it was during the 3 weeks, I got rabbinic exception to listen to music, my  collection of religious music which created such a holy environment.  I also had a list of people to daven for related to having children, good health and parnasas.

Motherhood is such an amazing gift which I never want to take for granted.    As happy as I am for myself, there is a part of my heart that has pain for women who are struggling with infertility.  I do not want to forget where I came from, and the great miracle that Hashem bestowed on my husband and I.  Being pregnant was such an amazing experience, a humbling experience that should never ever be taken for granted when so many shed tears for that opportunity.  It is impossible to express in words the emotions I felt when I could feel my baby’s  kick inside me, or the flood of emotion that rushes through me when I hold my sleeping baby and admire her tiny fingers,  her button nose,  and her pretty eye lashes.

I am aware of each passing day and the importance of cherishing every minute with my baby, a gift I do not take for granted.  She is 7 weeks old  and in that short time span she has changed so much.  She  is more alert and her cheeks are filling out.  Once she was a mere 5 lbs 11 oz and now she is 8 lbs.  I am so grateful that Hashem gave me the gift of  my Bracha after almost 8 years of tears and tefilah.  Now a new journey begins.  May this journey be filled with happiness and a renewed sense of looking at the world from the innocent perspective of my daughter’s eyes.


Read Full Post »